So first things first! A huge congrats to Joanne Froggatt for her Golden Globes win! If anything, after the battering this woman has endured over the last season for her storyline as a rape survivor, she truly deserves this award, not only for her portrayal of a survivor, but the care and consideration she gave to such a critical and sensitive topic. Yay you, JoFro!
We dive into Downton once again with *gasp* extended scenes the UK didn’t have! I can only assume from what I gathered on Tumblr that this was Jimmy’s departure, which really wasn’t all that thrilling, but we’ll take whatever crumbs we can get from the leftover loaf the UK throws us after their viewing of the season (I will never stop bitching about the delayed US release and neither should you!) Thomas tries to play for some sympathy after Anna finds him wallowing in the wake of Jimmy’s absence, but let’s be real, any sympathy that could have been drudged up for this two-faced slimy rat-bastard has been spent two-fold. I have nothing left for him, I truly don’t. When he noted that sometimes he wished he could just fit in, I shouted at the screen “then stop being a P-----k!” Lessons learned Mr. Barrow. Miss Bunting returns to school the eager Daisy in her lessons and simultaneously fans the socialist flames that are licking at Tom’s boots and getting him in hot water with Lord Donk. Lady Edith and Mr. Drew hatched a plot to ease Edith back into little Dandelion’s life, but the plan didn’t seem to go over as well with Mrs. Drew as originally planned; but Mr. Drew and Edith are dumbfoundedly ignorant of their failure and continue to grin like morons in the perceived success of their plans. I usually pity Poor Edith’s plight and I can totally empathize with her desire to be involved with her child, but with this poorly designed scheme, she’s looking more and more like the Fredo Corleone of the Crawley family. Someone just ship her off to Vegas already.
Lord Donk and Carson are caught in the battle of the memorial, where one side pines for a garden of solitude and reflection, and the other a town centerpiece that leaves the cricket field untouched. Still not sure if Donk was more concerned about accessibility to the memorial or his pitch living to see another cricket loss for the abbey. But this wasn’t the only war Lord D was fighting. He found himself battling art aficionado Mr. Bricker for his wife’s dog’s affections, because apparently there is nothing more ill-bred than trying to steal the affections of another man’s dog. I now feel I should give a sound lashing to anyone who tries to play fetch with my four-legged pals: “don’t even so much as glance at their tennis ball, jackass!” He was also battling the prospect of a wireless radio in the castle prompted him to draw a line in the sand as Rose tried to not-so-subtly drop hints for one. It wasn’t until the King himself opted to address the nation over the airwaves that he receded and allowed the contraption into the abbey walls. So I can only assume that if the King declared premarital sex a righteous and morally responsible act, Lord Donk would emphatically agree and Mary and Tony would not have had to run off to a secret lust-driven getaway. In fact, he may have invited Tony to Mary’s room and lit the candles himself.
Sadly this did not occur, which left Mary and Tony to fend for themselves, having to arrange their own reservations, light their own candles, button their own dresses and shirts, and schedule their own sex. Did he actually schedule their sex? Yes, apparently the British are so tenacious in their arrangements that to be spontaneously romantic might just be considered rude. So no, “first my dear, we shall be off to feast in town with a romantic dinner at 6:00, then we shall return for a romantic romp betwixt the sheets at approximately 8:15, then at 8:20 I will light a cigarette and you shall realize that this side of things is not right at all and curse the fact that you passed Blake up for me.” Mind you I was never really Team Blake, but come on Tony, you scheduled sex! You could have been at least slightly mysterious…”we’ll have dinner, then come back and whatever happens, happens *wink*.” But at this rate, we were lucky he didn’t have the itinerary written out on a hotel napkin. At least Anna’s trip to the pharmacy wasn’t going to go to waste.
Poor Anna, the responsibilities of a lady’s maid know no bounds, but I’ll bet “purchasing contraceptives for your lady’s lecherous lifestyle” wasn’t in the initial job description. With some ostracization from the shopkeeper that probably isn’t too out of place for some traditional locations around the states nowadays, she was affronted with personal questions regarding her life with her husband rather than respect for being responsible adults. But don’t feel too bad Anna, the first time I tried to be a responsible individual, my mother’s friend who worked at the store popped out of nowhere to ring me up at the register. Longest check out of my life. Why a lesbian needed such things, well that’s another blog in another rainbow-painted dimension. In the midst of this salacious conversation, Anna delivered my favorite quote of the night, “let’s hope I never write my memoirs!” Let’s hope not, seeing as how it didn’t work out too well for the residents of Jackson, Mississippi. I could only imagine Downton’s own version of The Help; the Crawleys may want to invest in an airtight non-disclosure contract with their servants. But then again, servants keeping secrets at Downton has its negative side as well, as Baxter has learned.
Thomas, still writhing in anger over losing his upper hand with Baxter continues to moan and gripe about her disloyalty and ruefully lets Moseley in on her tale of woe. Taken aback by the revelation, Moseley confronts Baxter and struggles to comprehend her lack of a suitable motive. His idealization of the perfect Baxter has been shattered and their future together may hang in the balance, but I suspect forgiveness will take the victory from this field and somehow they’ll find a way to kiss and make up. Cora on the other hand, is more exasperating with her tortuous indecisiveness, leaving Baxter waiting for her final fate, which, yet again is the same thing Lord Donk did when the revelation of Bates’ criminal record surfaced. Can’t these Crawleys just sack a fool or move on?
The episode closed with the ominous arrival of a police officer asking questions about one Mr. Green, revealing that there was “a witness” who has come forward with some untold information that the police may need to follow up on. Is Bates headed back to jail? Time will only tell…or spoilers…spoilers can tell too, again because the golden child of the west, the Brits, already know what has happened and it was almost too much to contain it. Thanks guys.
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