Cheerios, Piggy Love, and Goodbye Green (S 4: E 6, E 7, E 8)

So unfortunately I fell massively behind in my episode reviews given my indolence hectic work schedule, but seeing as how about two people read these on average every week I sincerely doubt I’ve disappointed any. Since I’m about three episodes in, this will be long but I will try to provide the Cliff’s Notes version.

Downton Debriefing…
Continuing the dance of culinary uncertainty, Alfred is accepted into his chef’s school by default after another drops out, sending Ivy and Daisy reeling. Daisy struggles with the rollercoaster of Alfred’s coming and going; Ivy’s blinders have been removed after Jimmy shows himself for the insufferable misogynistic ass he is, and she finds herself falling for Alfred as well, but not enough to accept a ridiculously expedited marriage proposal. All ends well with hugs and well wishes, but not before the claws come out between the two befuddled kitchen staffers. With Alfred’s departure, the issue of Mr. Molesley arises again, but the staunchly rigid Mr. Carson refuses to fill the position with a reluctant former valet. Eventually, with the help of Mrs. Hughes, Molesley eeks in and takes the position, still licking his wounds. But of course, his story continues to blossom as love strikes between him and Lady’s Grantham’s maid, Baxter.

The alleged thief in the Dowager home is acquitted, because apparently the gardening glove did not fit. Cousin Isobel cleared the young man’s name after finding the missing letter opener wedged in the cushion of a chair; sadly there was no chase down the dirt road on a Bronco. Again, another missed opportunity, Mr. Fellowes. However, the countess could not be caught in her own embarrassment, and beat Isobel to a public shaming by reinstating the gardener and apologizing on her own accord. In spite of this exchange, their friendship becomes deeply rooted when Isobel nurses Violet through a bout of Bronchitis, ever the self-promoted nurse. And what will undoubtedly be a disappointment for Dr. Clarkson, Isobel has a suitor in Mary's godfather. Awe. But don't count Tom out as he seems to be finding himself tapping on Cupid's door with a young politically involved teacher, Miss Bunting.

Rose finds herself dancing with her Jazzy knight in shining armor, Mr. Jack Ross in more ways than one after inviting him to perform for Lord Grantham’s birthday at the Abbey. Mary discovers her in the throes of lust, petting with the singer downstairs (her face makes you squirm and emits a stern and screaming unquestionable warning; love this wife of mine). Rose traipses off to London trailng Edith to meet with him again, and the two lovers are later spotted by Tom in public necking. Mary issues a clearer warning because apparently that warning face which could melt a more submissive tramp’s face off hardly swayed the obstinate child, but to no avail. Rose announces her engagement with underlying tones that she may be doing it simply to spite her mother, and Mary is off to appeal to the more level-headed half of the two. Consequently, rather than endure the backlash of an interracial marriage in 1920s England (or a Cheerios commercial in 2013 America), Jack calls off the affair. Either that or he really was a Thomas. Edith is not much luckier in her romantic plight as Mr. Gregson is still missing and she is navigating her first trimester of pregnancy. Edith finds herself in a downward spiral of not only losing her chance at love once more but surviving the world with the scandal of bearing a child out of wedlock. Finding a confidant in Aunt Rosamund, Edith tip-toes to the precipice of getting an abortion before taking a last minute detour away from the edge and seeking alternative options. In plotting with her aunt, the Dowager stumbles across the secret of Edith’s delicate state, and ever the supportive grandmother, through scandals of post-coitus dead diplomats and marriage out of class, she helps Edith find a suitable solution.

Love continues to shakily bloom for Mary, but not before the pig shit hits the fan. The arrival of Charles Blake sets her teeth on edge and the claws are bared as the two banter against one another with every meeting, leaving Evelyn Napier, Mr. Nice Guy on the sidelines, pitifully mediating as he’s being swept and locked into the Friendzone. However, in spite of either one loudly proclaiming their dislike for one another, the nature of this relationship begins quite similarly to that of Mary and Matthew, and we all know how that war ended…well before he was squished like a slug under the car. The breaking point comes when the pigs the family has invested into are found on the brink of dehydrated death by Blake and Mary. Quick to salvage the poor little porkers, they volley back and forth between the spigot and the trough to water the bacon down. Sloshing through muck, mud, and a little sewage, which Blake flings right onto Mary’s lips, coming dangerously close to creating his own story of the Terrible Awful. Let’s hope Anna never ghost-writes an expose of the help at Downton. On the bright side, after this sordid event, Mary was given the opportunity to learn the name of one of the servants. Yes, Ivy has been here for two years, but don’t let that take away from your victory, M’Lady! You’re in touch with the little people! The determined Lord Gillingham hasn’t given up and often pops up in his stalkerish mode, gently combatting with Blake and keeping his presence known. He later reveals he has broken with his fiancée, leaving himself wide open for Mary. But in spite of her devastation over the earlier news of his engagement, and the budding love she shared with Blake over pig droppings, she remains guarded and reluctant, keeping both at bay.

The secret of Anna’s assault has been slowly floating to the surface, and ultimately pieces of it breached when Lord Grantham was summoned to America in an attempt to save Cora’s brother from scandal and ruin. Planning on toting Bates with him, Mrs. Hughes persuades Mary to appeal to Robert and request that Bates remain home to support Anna, but not without Mrs. Hughes having to spill the beans on why. Afterwards, Mary attempts to provide a shoulder for Anna to cry on, but still traumatized and scarred, Anna keeps the shields up and politely refuses the support. Anna and Bates work tirelessly to return to normal life, but unfortunately in his endless pursuit of Mary, with each visit from Lord Gillingham brings Mr. Green back into poor Anna’s life. With each stay, Anna is re-traumatized, and Bates becomes frightfully closer to discovering the truth. Once again, Mrs. Hughes has an amazing Mama Bear moment, seething with anger towards Mr. Green when she confronts him, but his narcissism can’t be broken. No longer able to find peace with her conscience, Mary requests a meeting with Gillingham and demands Green be sacked. Suspiciously, Bates takes a trip to York, where Mr. Green resides, and Green dies in an accident, tripping into the road and being run over. Unsure of the course of events, both Anna and Mary are caught in a web of uncertainty: fear wrapped in doubt and, let’s face it, sprinkled with a bit of relief and relish that in some twisted way, justice was done. Concern has never been played for Mr. Green’s well-being, as Mrs. Hughes hissed “I didn’t lie for your sake!” and while to err is human and forgive divine, I lack such divinity. I am not a fan of an eye for an eye, but we’ve all fantasized about our rapists getting pushed falling into rush hour traffic. So if everyone escapes this incident unscathed, then brava!