The dowager countess once again attempts to reiterate the point that she came from a very different dimension era with the aforementioned and horribly misguided quote about when a young woman gets her lady fire lit. This of course all came crashing down when Secret Agent Spratt spotted Mary and Tony departing from a week-long tryst at a distant hotel and reported back to the countess. Refusing to waiver in front of the help, Violet quickly concocts an alibi for her deviant granddaughter to derail the nosy butler. She later gave Mary a violent verbal lashing for once again laying with a man who has yet to put a ring on it. But awkwardly, he is trying; god help him he is trying desperately to latch onto his lady love and Mary is utilizing the evasive tactics of a stealth ninja in avoiding his marital lasso. Later she revealed to Tom that Blake’s prophetic “is it lust or love” chat rang true, and perhaps she had been blinded by lust all along when she realized her pretty boy is a shallow puddle of water in conversation. Alas Mary has already given him a piece of the pie and he is undeterred in seeking the rest of her matrimonial baked goods, so now she is faced with the challenge of putting him off. Meanwhile, Mary was slipped some ammunition against her Draconian grandmother when a Russian blast from the past shuffled into Downton and proved that even in 1924, those who ride highest on their moral horses are usually hypocrites. The dowager was caught off guard after being confronted by what was most likely a platonic love affair, but she didn’t seem too reluctant when he started stoking the flames of her lady fire again. Well, I’m not sure there’s still a fire there, but maybe some glowing embers beneath the cinders of time. Okay, more than likely it’s just dry, dusty ash, but hey, fires can always be rekindled at any age…I think. Well to be honest, I’d rather not think about it.
Finally after dragging it out for three long episodes, Baxter’s confession is revealed, and her history of being the female half of a Bonnie and Clyde house servant duo is laid out on the table for Cora. Cora finally agrees to make her decision and of course Baxter shall remain, because god knows Cora simply cannot be without a lady’s maid for one more day. But in spite of narrowly avoiding the travesty of having to dress herself (yeah right, Anna would be stuck doing it again), there is trouble in paradise for Lady Grantham. After often being left out of any intelligent conversation in the abbey by her husband, and being shipped out to London alone, Cora finds herself being swept off her feet by the debonair Mr. Bricker, who clings to her every word and treats her as though she may even have a brain in her pretty little head. Of course Lord Donk is not amused when she misses a surprise dinner to bask in the London night lights with the art lover, and he unabashedly insults her, temporarily graduating to Lord D---bag. But what exactly did you expect? You treat your wife like a feeble-minded female, you can’t deflate your ego muster the strength to warn off his flirtations with her so you substitute your dog for your better half, and…oh yeah, you’re still technically responsible for her daughter’s untimely death. Besides, if you hadn’t noticed, People.com just declared your wife a certifiable card-carrying MILF, which no doubt transcended through time, technology, and fictitious TV programming to increase her desirability throughout early 20th century England. Hope Lord D---bag can find a way out of this one, otherwise he’ll be shacking up with Isis in the dog house.
Lady Edith was also sadly shifted to the dog house when she predictably overstayed her welcome at the Drew farm. After “disappearing” when babysitting little Hibiscus, and lingering even though the man of the house had returned, Mrs. Drew abruptly fired Poor Edith from her patronage of her secret child. Can this woman ever get a break? I know, Mr. Fellows, that you once claimed some people are just unlucky in life, but damn, the ritualistic abuse of this character is not only disheartening, but becoming gradually predictable as well.
There is one unfortunate who seems to have her luck improving though, as Daisy is finding her confidence and discovering her ability in mathematics with the help of Ms. Bunting. Eager to succeed and possibly sit on her matrics, Daisy may be the next servant to fly the coop (we talked about this in the first episode’s blog, don’t do it Daisy!). She has the support of most of the household, except for droopy poopy Mr. Carson, who crapped on her parade and advised her her work was “not necessary for her place in the scheme of things.” Perhaps Mr. Carson doesn’t want to lose another servant to bigger and better opportunities either, considering how in the afterlife, William was promoted as a waiter in Russian high society alongside Anna Karenina and some princess who looked oddly familiar…but Carson had his hands full crapping on people’s parades after he refused a request from Mrs. Patmore to lift some of the embarrassment of her nephew’s execution for cowardice. After fleeing the frontline in a panic and being shot as a traitor, Mrs. Patmore attempted to leave that shame in the shadows, but will soon be unsuccessful when her nephew’s hometown constructs their own memorial to their soldiers and his name will be noticeably omitted. She enlisted Mrs. Hughes in pleading with Carson to allow his name on the Downton memorial, but was immediately shut down as he cited honor, tradition, and some other patriotic insensitive drivel that drove the nail of shame further into Mrs. Patmore’s heart. But she may not have been the only one feeling some shame in this episode.
While I can’t be entirely certain, Thomas has contacted some service in London named “Choose your own path” which sounds like possible gay cure treatment. The thought of it turns my stomach though I know aversion therapy and gay cure therapy has for the most part been scientifically outlawed in more progressive countries, it is still alive and well in many other parts of the world as well as in the dark corners of the western civilizations (The American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association have both denounced the treatment and many therapist licensing boards have banned the practice, but religious organizations are not subject to licensing board restrictions and their "treatments" live on). If this is the path Thomas has chosen, as much as I loathe what he has become, I will be cringing at the prospect of what awaits him in this trials including medical experimentations and aversion approaches like electric shocks and re-conditioning. We’ve all had those moments where we wanted to be “normal”, but thank god, in spite of their disagreement with my lifestyle, my parents never sent me to therapy for it.
We close as the drama with Mr. Green’s death begins to unravel, then, winds back up a little too neatly to believe this is the last we’ve heard of the ordeal. After a witness reported hearing a verbal exchange with an unseen individual prior to his “accident,” a policeman has been frequenting the abbey in a preliminary investigation. Green had reportedly told his co-workers he had quarreled with a resident of the abbey which raised suspicions. Information of Bates’ travels arose and he was interrogated over his trip the day Green died. After supplying the answers expected of him, Bates appeared to be off the hook and Anna was breathing a sigh of relief. But nothing in Downton ends so nicely and given the whisperings of future episodes, a shocking twist is about to rear its ugly head…
Yet again as awards season continues, good luck to the DA cast at the SAG awards this weekend, though I’ll not hide my disgust that my fake TV wife Michelle has been shut out of both the Golden Globes and the SAGs, so frankly, they can suck it.
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