Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Ellen Terry Has Nothing on You When it Comes to Stringing Out a Moment (S 5 E 5)

Ellen Terry has nothing on Mr. Fellowes when it comes to stringing out this mishap with the Bates’ and Mr. Green’s investigation. It seems as though this has been going on for an eternity though we’ve only endured it for four episodes. We were first introduced to the inquisitive police officer in episode 2 as he begins his quest with superficial questions that hardly warrant the trip to the abbey to begin with. Each subsequent return involves questioning Bates, then a return to question Carson, then a return to question Anna and Lady Mary. Though this would logically be the course of action taken, it seems we’re being subjected to a play by play of events each episode, save some coverage of the detectives’ meals and bedtime rituals. Thankfully they had the presence of mind to interview both Mary and Anna at the same time so we could be one step closer to wherever this is leading us (which, thanks to the foresight afforded to me by UK airing spoilers, I know what is coming, I’m just not sure how or when and I’m tired of waiting).

Of course, waiting is a foreign concept to Edith, who has pushed and pushed to force her way back into little Daffodil’s life, in spite of numerous warnings from Mr. Drew on behalf of his miffed wife. Against common sense, Edith took Rosamund down for a visit to the Drew farm and shoved Mrs. Drew from thoroughly annoyed to positively pissed. Drew admits to his poorly executed plan we criticized from episode 2 and emphasized (for a third time) that Edith should keep her distance at the risk of the family moving away to avoid her. While I can’t slight the woman for her desperation with this child, I just want to kick her, for I can’t help but feel if she had given them a little space to breathe, perhaps the issue could have been approached a different way after the Mrs. calmed down to benefit everyone. But Edith has the impulsivity of a 7 year old with ADHD annnnd she blew it. Poor, poor Edith. But she’s hatching a plan that will undoubtedly result in uprooting (no pun intended) the little flower child, and giving this kid a lifetime worth of therapy for being ripped from two families before her 3rd birthday.

Speaking of therapy, let’s not forget Thomas’ ongoing treatments which have left him looking slightly more ghoulish than before and on the verge of collapse. Finally confirmation was given that he’s trying to, ahem, straighten himself out (this review’s getting punnier by the minute) and while many have noted his sickly appearance, only one has and continues to reach out with support. Not that he deserves it after his manipulative scheme fell flat on its face, but Baxter has been the epitome of forgive and forget as she tries to break through Barrow’s defenses and knock some sense into him. Sadly, in spite of his previous whimperings of having no friends, Thomas swats Baxter away and continues to scheme against the Bates’, securing his place as the most hated man in Downton.

Correction: The most hated man downstairs in Downton. The title of the most hated man upstairs was bequeathed to Mr. Bricker, whom after weeks of flirting, finally made his move in a most Turkish way by creeping into Cora’s room while Lord Donk was believed to be gone for the evening. His attempts to seduce Cora were slightly less successful than Mr. Pamuk with Mary, and Lord Donk returned early to find the creeper in his chambers. After Bricker essentially spoke the truth about Donk’s emotional negligence towards Cora, Donk’s fist called an unscheduled meeting with Bricker’s teeth and the two brawled. The noise prompted Edith to inquire after their well-being through a closed door, and Cora to conjure an excuse that a parent may have sputtered out when their child walked in on them making whoopee: “we were just playing a silly game.” Of what, leap frog?? Either way Bricker is asked to leave and Donk refuses to speak to Cora even though she maintained that Bricker came on his own accord. Now granted, Cora had kind of played along in the game with Bricker, and only haplessly put off his advancements, but the reality is at the end of the night, she refused him. So I can only wonder if Lord Donk’s silence was an expression of his anger towards her, or his silent reflection of the time he actually did cheat on his wife and made out with the housemaid, Jane and paid for the kid’s education. Remember her? Yeah, set down that first stone, donkey boy.

Caught in their own ongoing love triangle, Blake devises a meeting between Mary and the rejected Mabel Fox to try and pawn Tony back onto Mabel and relieve Mary of his Ike Turner anger issues. Mabel didn’t take too kindly to the plan and though they were only on screen for a moment, I relished the exchange between the two ladies. Michelle spared no aristocratic attitude on Tony’s former fiancée. It was back to the drawing table for Blake and Mary, but really I don’t understand the waste in effort and energy; Tony slept with Mary. Given her past record with lovers, the dude’s going to be dead within the next month anyways.

Though Tony’s death could resolve a few issues, the death of an aunt only brought about more for Mrs. Patmore when she received a tidy sum of money as an inheritance. Unsure of how to invest, she first sought out Mr. Out of Touch Carson, who reveled in the moment, though Mrs. Hughes tried her best to put him off. In an effort to appear up with the times, Carson consulted with Lord Donk on the down low and passed the advice to Mrs. Patmore. Taking advice from the Lord who bankrupted himself and the abbey with poor investments in the past seems to me a bad idea, and Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore agreed side-stepping Carson’s suggestion was probably ideal, and worked their womanly magic to appease the man through the let-down.

Another let-down was Tom’s refusal to fight for Sarah Bunting when she left. Though my mother cheered on her departure, I had hoped that the poor widower had finally found love, and was disappointed to see he couldn’t muster the huevos to make her stay. But I must admit, there may have been a hint of maturity in his decision that I simply refuse to see because I really, really wanted this to happen. Damn you Branson. Damn you. But love may still conquer all, or at least misguided unlucky in love youngsters as Rose may have met her prince charming, Atticus. Not the southern lawyer dude, the former part Russian kind of Jewish totally sexy dude. Well, I’m assuming he’s sexy, as I don’t suspect I’m a good source of reference on sexy men.


Sidebar: There’s a nudist colony in Essex. Michelle is from Essex. Can I expect a nude Michelle in the next episode or any following episodes this season? Please? Julian?

No comments:

Post a Comment