The Battle Royale and the Game of Love (S6 E5)

The Brainwashing Continues

It's off to the car race we go as Mary and Tom take up Henry's invitation to show off for the object of his affection. In spite of our hopes of romance for her, Mary has divulged to Tom that she refuses to marry down, and convincingly argues that purely out of consideration for her betrothed, she will not out-rank him. As Sybil has not been far from regular conversation this season, Tom reminds Mary of the class separation that preceded his marriage to her baby sister and knocks her uppity butt down a few notches. After a few brief panic attacks watching Henry speed around the race track and betraying herself in her concern for him, Mary, Tom and Henry head down for a few drinks. Side-stepping tradition, Tom proclaims himself the wing man for both parties and pushes them onward down the path of love (can I get a night with this guy to help me find my lady love?). Who knows, Mary could find Henry may be worth a sponge here and there.

One never afraid of marrying down, dating down, adultering down, Edith, one of limited standards, has found a man that may just be on par with her expectations. He's a simple agent, but not a frozen dead dude, not an old cripple, not a married farmer, and not a married magazine editor. So basically he's come out far above the rest. After meeting Bertie Pelham for anything and everything but a damn date, they finally went on a date and locked lips. For the love of god I hope he's not some sadistic ax murder, but that would be just the kind of twisted shit Julian Fellowes would pull on this poor unfortunate girl. 

Although many in Downton are finally finding their well-deserved happiness, one thing that is irrefutably obvious is that love is an ever-changing beast, enveloping in its comfort, but sure to rear its ugly head when you serve your man some under-cooked lamb with a poor pairing of vegetables. Like Toad of Toad Hall, the spoiled Mr. Carson poo-pooed his new wife's efforts to plan a hearty meal. Then again I'm not so sure about the selection either; being the less worldly American that I am, I had only once heard mention of Bubble and Squeak in my childhood from the tales of the beloved Mr. Toad and his willows. After Googling it, I can't say I'd be too fond of the concoction myself. Be that as it may, every chauvinistic pig is deserving of a slap when not-so-subtly criticizing their better half. But let's be honest, did we really think Carson would let his own home be run any less efficiently than the abbey? What did you expect? Thankfully he found it in his heart to essentially order his wife into cooking lessons with Mrs. Patmore. I predict this will end with some bloodshed. That, or the sight of Mrs. Hughes' birthday suit will become nothing more than a faint memory for him.

Speaking of managing pigs, a sudden problem arose when Mary realized that Mr.Mason may not have it in him to wrangle the swine on the new farm. As the geriatric settled into his new digs, Mary and Tom paid him a visit to ensure the future well-being of their pork plantation. Without a specific plan, Mr. Mason awkwardly shuffled his feet for a moment. In an act of chivalry and to avoid the embarrassment of poor Mr. Mason, Andy leapt to his feet and volunteered as tribute for the Bacon Games. Glad for the help and the opportunity to guide a new apprentice, Mr. Mason begins throwing books at the poor child, who stares at the bound pages uneasily. It isn't until later, when Thomas overhears his tantrum in the servants' quarters that we find Andy to be illiterate. Though Andy finally revealed that he had shunned Thomas for so long out of his own rainbow-phobia, he hardly shies away when Thomas enters his room, which really didn't end well for the last servant whose room he visited. In his time of need, Andy's defenses appear to be down and he accepts the olive branch Thomas has extended for so long. Granted the olive is shriveled and wormy but hey, beggars, choosers and whatnot. Thomas agrees to help Andy with his reading and perhaps a bond has finally be forged.

With peace finding its way upstairs, it has yet again eluded the family downstairs and the war rages on over the Cottage Hospital. Dr. Clarkson seems to have formally renounced his position and, in high treason, strengthened Cora and Isobel's ranks. This did not come without reprimand, but not from Violet. Denker, ever protective of her lady, the misguided and hostile maid gave Clarkson a verbal lashing in town and nearly got herself sacked. However, pulling the ace from her sleeve, she demanded Spratt speak up for her or risk being revealed as the accomplice of a fugitive. Pulling her tail from the flames just in time, Denker was spared. But Violet sensed the ranks closing in on her. Resorting to drastic measures, the Dowager desperately digs into her back of tricks for one last strike. Summoning the Health Minister who is touring nearby, Violet, who is not above entrapment herself, blackmails the man into attending a dinner at Downton. Hoping he will side with her, she prepares to present her case. After a few brutal rounds in the ring, making everyone more uncomfortable than all the times Bunting came to dinner combined, LG has had enough, 

LG had been ignoring and belittling the nagging pain that has been plaguing him for the past few episodes and he refused to go to his doctor, which was something I thought only we Mexicans do (it took my dad two weeks to get to the hospital after he broke his leg). But suddenly it becomes too much to bear. With a choking cough, he spews blood across the table, sputtering and and spitting up pints of the reddened life force. The scene is so shocking and gruesome for a moment I thought we had stepped into an episode of American Horror Story. He collapses to the floor and we're sure it's over for the Lord and Master. After a speedy transfer to the hospital and a life-saving surgery, it would appear that LG will recover, but not without some major life changes, beginning with Tom and Mary taking over the majority of the estate. As no man wants his kingdom taken from him, especially by his child, it looks as though Clarkson and LG will both have their huevos in a jar on their nightstands. 

In Downton Tidbits, Baxter found relief when it turned out she did not have to testify against Peter. After a careful review of the witness list, it would appear Mr. Coyle had a change of heart, or what I prefer to call an "Oh shit" moment, and pleaded guilty to the charges he faced. Edith finally hired a nice pair of ovaries to be the editor of her magazine, and the development of women in roles of power keeps surging forward. On the heels of that relief may come more frustration and heartache for Edith, or a final release as it would appear that the light bulb has finally illuminated over Mary's encapsulated head. Overhearing an awkwardly placed conversation between Cora and Violet (how did we get from the hospital fight to family secrets and illegitimate children?), Mary is beginning to piece together the puzzle that is Edith's maternity to young Bouvardia, and I suspect all will be said and done in our next trip to Downton.

There are only a few more journeys left my loves, let us savor each and every moment...until next time.