Socialized...

Yep...there was a time when they had to pay for their doctor visits...

And just in case you're not very educated on the forlorn state of healthcare in America...

True story....

The Spectrum of Good and Evil

Different versions, some characters landed different positions, some stayed the same throughout...

All I can say is Thomas was kind of boo-hooing at the end of the last episode, but unfortunately as I mentioned in season 5 I have no empathy left for him. His situation, as devastating as it is, is self-made. He constantly complains of his own plight, and moments later turns around to stab someone else in the back. I really feel he should graduate to chaotic evil since Mrs. Bates is dead...

Downgrading, Detonating, and Downton on Display (S6 E6)

Although Downton has been opening its doors to viewers like us for 6 wonderful years, it would appear the beauty of the abbey was naught but a mystery to the townspeople and warranted making it a tourist attraction for charity. In order to raise funds for the hospital, the Crawleys are banking on the curiosity of their local bottom-dwellers and praying that they don't leave with more in their pockets than when they came. Though some in the family are naturally against it, namely LG, Violet, and Carson, we can't ignore the irony of the similar circumstances with Highclere Castle and the tourist attraction it has become since Downton became world famous. I don't know where that money goes, but visiting it has made its way onto my bucket list. Of course, Carson simply feels they aren't entitled to catch a glimpse over the hedge that has flourished in the Law of Poverty (aka student loans, which will inevitably keep me from crossing this visit off my bucket list in the long run). LG and Violet can't see the fascination with their own extravagant lifestyles the majority can't often dream of, but I guarantee you, dear Donk that I would gladly shirk my loan responsibilities and throw my golden credit score into the fiery pits of financial hell to pay to see Lady Mary in the tub.

After an off-the-cuff suggestion from Bertie, the Crawley ladies are saddled with the responsibility of providing the walk-through tours, and are caught trying desperately to cover their own detachment from the historical structure their family has called home for generations. Carson sadly misses the opportunity to beat any children with a stick, though one scuttles upstairs past the velvet rope and slips confidently into LG's bedroom. After a candid conversation about the ridiculousness of the estate, the little chap scampers off and leaves LG wondering about the necessity of it all. Even Edith takes notice of the great divide, remarking that the venture left the family feeling like an exhibit on display; their ways of life presented for observation, study, and pure fascination behind a plexi-glass wall that's smudged with children's snotty faces and grubby hands. The awareness that their way of life is quickly dwindling slowly descends upon them, and the possibility of eventually downgrading looms before them.

This knowledge has been creeping in the back of their minds, however, in spite of their attempts to brush it aside, and LG has revisited an earlier discussion of downgrading the staff, namely the under butler. Being the omniscient party in the story of Downton, we know all too well the struggles Thomas has faced in seeking alternate employment, but LG and Carson have had their fill of his residual presence and are sweeping him to the door like a rat that had been discovered in the kitchen. Reminded of his pending fate and being the first to be offed, Thomas becomes more embittered towards the majority of staff in the house, and turns to his best buddy to cheer him up. No, not Andy (though rumors begin swirling that the two are playing leap frog in the servants' quarters). Thomas takes up with little George, playing horsey with the young heir and in the process alerting Mary to his melancholy state. I sense Mary will come to his rescue in episodes to come if this Andy thing doesn't blow up in his face. Ha...in his face...that innuendo was totally unintended but it works and I have a cold so my filter is broken; I don't care and I'm leaving it in there. I never claimed this blog was child-friendly. Crap, I hope my mom doesn't decide to read this one.

There was a true explosion in the abbey when the Dowager found out she had been dethroned as the President of the hospital board and that Cora was to be her successor. Detonating all over Lady Grantham in the middle of a house tour, Violet then stomped up to LG's room and spat venom in his face over the treachery of his better half, this Benedict Arnold, this Brutus, this Edward Snowden right there in their midst (note: I'm really all for Edward Snowden, so don't start writing letters). Though I suspect when LG was spewing blood across the dinner table she may have questioned her position in the great debate, once finding that he was going to be fine, she retreated to her footholds and remained steadfast in her disagreement with it all. In spite of the anticipated nuclear war that was to come, Cora was beginning to secretly revel in the prospect of having a new endeavor to pursue. No doubt finding herself in what I suspect was the Edwardian version of an Empty Nest Syndrome, where the kids haven't quite left because girls can't move out on their own without looking like whores, but they are off living their lives with little need from their nanny mom to raise them (come on Cora, visiting with the children an hour a day can hardly be called a career). But rise to the occasion she must, and I can only wonder what will happen with the Dowager's own need for a purpose. Old people need something to do too, otherwise they cause all kinds of trouble, and you've seen the trouble she caused when she had a job, imagine the shit-storm she'll stir with 24 hours of free time on her hands!

Mary continues this taunting dance with Henry by popping out of a cake for him...no she didn't but I'd pay for that as well. Mary in a cake, Mary in a tub...better yet I want Mary eating cake in a tub. Yeah, let's make that happen, I'll throw in my kids' college funds too. Don't worry about them, McDonald's will always need fry cooks. Anyways, fully expecting to meet Henry, Mary joins in on a dinner party thrown by Evelyn Napier; yes he's back and he barely got two lines in this episode, he's become that insignificant. I truly pity him but if after 10 years he still hasn't figured it out, he never will. Playing hard to get like she hasn't slept with three men already and can be choosey, Mary baits her hook and toys with Henry before the two escape together into the night. A well-timed thunderstorm pushes them into a covered walkway and suddenly their lips collide. Mary can't hide her excitement. Love is blossoming and Mary might be downgrading herself, nixing that whole "marrying above me" plan after all.

In Downton Tidbits, Daisy is continuing to prepare for her test, and in the process of being her private cheerleader, Molesley has been asked to sit for the tests as well. In the event that Molesley does well, perhaps he will catch his ship after all and begin a career guiding the young minds of England. Daisy has also recovered from her Shared Delusional Disorder and has shifted to Oppositional Defiance, trying her damnedest to dig a trench between Mrs. Patmore and Mr. Mason, where a little romance may be growing. If this works out, in a way Mrs. Patmore will kind of become Daisy's stepmother. I can picture it now, Daisy stomping away in a fit screaming "you'll never be my real mom!" I get it though, I did that once with my stepmother too...well actually it was last week. It's much more awkward in your 30s, let me tell you. Lord Merton, suddenly desperate to win Isobel's affections again now that the hospital business has settled, has triangulated his future daughter-in-law into the lover's quarrel, positioning her as a peacemaker for Larry. Ignoring this strange tangent in the story line, I spent most of my time wondering how the hell that bastard got anyone to agree to marry him. Mary is already fully aware of the situation with young Monkey Flower (I swear to god that's a real flower...go ahead, Google it, I'll wait.......HA told ya), but she insists that someone announce it to her aloud, and continues to goad everyone into telling her. They're dragging it out, but then again, that's becoming Julian's signature plot development tactic. Edith doesn't hesitate to introduce little Pink Pussytoes to Bertie (yeah, that one's real too), and in his stay, Bertie is quickly catching up to the lifelong war and verbal lashes that occur between Mary and Edith. Will someone finally step up for Edith against Mary? Carson continues to complain about Mrs. Hughes' lackluster housekeeping and it took all her personal restraint not to grab his walking stick and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Baxter received a letter from Peter Coyle to visit him in prison, and though Molesley is strongly advising against it, she may go see the conniving bastard yet.

See ya next week!

Screw Those Disney Princesses!

Dress up your kid like a Downton lady for this Halloween! I swear to god, I'm going to pop out a child just so I can dress them up like this next year. Girl or boy (because apparently this is becoming more acceptable) someone's getting dressed up like a Crawley!

The Battle Royale and the Game of Love (S6 E5)

The Brainwashing Continues

It's off to the car race we go as Mary and Tom take up Henry's invitation to show off for the object of his affection. In spite of our hopes of romance for her, Mary has divulged to Tom that she refuses to marry down, and convincingly argues that purely out of consideration for her betrothed, she will not out-rank him. As Sybil has not been far from regular conversation this season, Tom reminds Mary of the class separation that preceded his marriage to her baby sister and knocks her uppity butt down a few notches. After a few brief panic attacks watching Henry speed around the race track and betraying herself in her concern for him, Mary, Tom and Henry head down for a few drinks. Side-stepping tradition, Tom proclaims himself the wing man for both parties and pushes them onward down the path of love (can I get a night with this guy to help me find my lady love?). Who knows, Mary could find Henry may be worth a sponge here and there.

One never afraid of marrying down, dating down, adultering down, Edith, one of limited standards, has found a man that may just be on par with her expectations. He's a simple agent, but not a frozen dead dude, not an old cripple, not a married farmer, and not a married magazine editor. So basically he's come out far above the rest. After meeting Bertie Pelham for anything and everything but a damn date, they finally went on a date and locked lips. For the love of god I hope he's not some sadistic ax murder, but that would be just the kind of twisted shit Julian Fellowes would pull on this poor unfortunate girl. 

Although many in Downton are finally finding their well-deserved happiness, one thing that is irrefutably obvious is that love is an ever-changing beast, enveloping in its comfort, but sure to rear its ugly head when you serve your man some under-cooked lamb with a poor pairing of vegetables. Like Toad of Toad Hall, the spoiled Mr. Carson poo-pooed his new wife's efforts to plan a hearty meal. Then again I'm not so sure about the selection either; being the less worldly American that I am, I had only once heard mention of Bubble and Squeak in my childhood from the tales of the beloved Mr. Toad and his willows. After Googling it, I can't say I'd be too fond of the concoction myself. Be that as it may, every chauvinistic pig is deserving of a slap when not-so-subtly criticizing their better half. But let's be honest, did we really think Carson would let his own home be run any less efficiently than the abbey? What did you expect? Thankfully he found it in his heart to essentially order his wife into cooking lessons with Mrs. Patmore. I predict this will end with some bloodshed. That, or the sight of Mrs. Hughes' birthday suit will become nothing more than a faint memory for him.

Speaking of managing pigs, a sudden problem arose when Mary realized that Mr.Mason may not have it in him to wrangle the swine on the new farm. As the geriatric settled into his new digs, Mary and Tom paid him a visit to ensure the future well-being of their pork plantation. Without a specific plan, Mr. Mason awkwardly shuffled his feet for a moment. In an act of chivalry and to avoid the embarrassment of poor Mr. Mason, Andy leapt to his feet and volunteered as tribute for the Bacon Games. Glad for the help and the opportunity to guide a new apprentice, Mr. Mason begins throwing books at the poor child, who stares at the bound pages uneasily. It isn't until later, when Thomas overhears his tantrum in the servants' quarters that we find Andy to be illiterate. Though Andy finally revealed that he had shunned Thomas for so long out of his own rainbow-phobia, he hardly shies away when Thomas enters his room, which really didn't end well for the last servant whose room he visited. In his time of need, Andy's defenses appear to be down and he accepts the olive branch Thomas has extended for so long. Granted the olive is shriveled and wormy but hey, beggars, choosers and whatnot. Thomas agrees to help Andy with his reading and perhaps a bond has finally be forged.

With peace finding its way upstairs, it has yet again eluded the family downstairs and the war rages on over the Cottage Hospital. Dr. Clarkson seems to have formally renounced his position and, in high treason, strengthened Cora and Isobel's ranks. This did not come without reprimand, but not from Violet. Denker, ever protective of her lady, the misguided and hostile maid gave Clarkson a verbal lashing in town and nearly got herself sacked. However, pulling the ace from her sleeve, she demanded Spratt speak up for her or risk being revealed as the accomplice of a fugitive. Pulling her tail from the flames just in time, Denker was spared. But Violet sensed the ranks closing in on her. Resorting to drastic measures, the Dowager desperately digs into her back of tricks for one last strike. Summoning the Health Minister who is touring nearby, Violet, who is not above entrapment herself, blackmails the man into attending a dinner at Downton. Hoping he will side with her, she prepares to present her case. After a few brutal rounds in the ring, making everyone more uncomfortable than all the times Bunting came to dinner combined, LG has had enough, 

LG had been ignoring and belittling the nagging pain that has been plaguing him for the past few episodes and he refused to go to his doctor, which was something I thought only we Mexicans do (it took my dad two weeks to get to the hospital after he broke his leg). But suddenly it becomes too much to bear. With a choking cough, he spews blood across the table, sputtering and and spitting up pints of the reddened life force. The scene is so shocking and gruesome for a moment I thought we had stepped into an episode of American Horror Story. He collapses to the floor and we're sure it's over for the Lord and Master. After a speedy transfer to the hospital and a life-saving surgery, it would appear that LG will recover, but not without some major life changes, beginning with Tom and Mary taking over the majority of the estate. As no man wants his kingdom taken from him, especially by his child, it looks as though Clarkson and LG will both have their huevos in a jar on their nightstands. 

In Downton Tidbits, Baxter found relief when it turned out she did not have to testify against Peter. After a careful review of the witness list, it would appear Mr. Coyle had a change of heart, or what I prefer to call an "Oh shit" moment, and pleaded guilty to the charges he faced. Edith finally hired a nice pair of ovaries to be the editor of her magazine, and the development of women in roles of power keeps surging forward. On the heels of that relief may come more frustration and heartache for Edith, or a final release as it would appear that the light bulb has finally illuminated over Mary's encapsulated head. Overhearing an awkwardly placed conversation between Cora and Violet (how did we get from the hospital fight to family secrets and illegitimate children?), Mary is beginning to piece together the puzzle that is Edith's maternity to young Bouvardia, and I suspect all will be said and done in our next trip to Downton.

There are only a few more journeys left my loves, let us savor each and every moment...until next time.

The Young Crawley Ladies

We've seen the permafrost between Edith and Mary slowly thaw, and I suspect that they will only get closer as Mary is just a breath away from piecing together Edith's secret. But what started this war? Though there were mincing comments about Edith's futile love life and the moment where that secret about Mary's deadly womanhood and Pamuk was leaked to the ambassador, I can only imagine that this conflict started long ago when they were tiny lady youngsters. In fact, here's a screencap of the little Crawley minions so many years ago, Mary still bossing everyone around, Edith and her pitiful comebacks, and Sybil staying out of it.

And sadly, some things never change. Edith's chances of getting adopted and married were one in the same...

Marching Through the Sands of Time

The evolution of time at Downton has been, at times, hard for me to remain cognizant of. Still caught in the days of horses and carriages where we first met the Crawley family, I find myself in awe as we're suddenly transported into the midst of the roaring 20s, where they have fashion shows and car races. Throughout the show we have watched as the family was introduced to many developments of technology, some not so warmly welcomed in the home, and I thought it would be fun to review. So, as Daisy buries her head in her textbooks and expands her mental horizons, here's your little history lesson for the week as well.

The first invention we come across was in the first season of Downton, as a skittish housemaid/kitchen assistant Daisy is petrified of electricity in the home even as Gwen chides her, "it's electricity, not the devil's handiwork!" While the Crawley family was just getting electricity in 1912, incandescent light bulbs had become commercially available in the 1870s after being patented and developed by British physicist Joseph Wilson Swan. The invention was improved upon by Thomas Edison and patented in the US. The Dowager wasn't too keen on it either, but gradually the carbon fixtures flared and spread through the many rooms of the abbey and its houses.

Shortly following the infiltration of electricity into the house came the torturous instrument of communication, the telephone. Again, a myriad of inventors contributed to the development of the phone as it when through its many transformations, but Alexander Graham Bell was credited with the patent in 1876. Again the Crawley house took its time acquiring the new toy, but soon adopted a Candlestick phone, which was developed in the 1890s and remained popular until the 1930s. Too bad Downton's finished, I'd like to see Carson try to work a rotary.

Perhaps the most jubilant and heartbreaking piece of technology was Matthew's gramophone. Originally intended to fill the rooms of the abbey with arias and honey-voiced crooners, the gramophone was there for the pivotal

 moment in Matthew and Mary's life: the moment Matthew professed his love for Mary as Lavinia watched from the staircase. In 1906, after a series of changes and yes, improvements over the graphaphone and phonograph, the gramophone we are most familiar with, the Tournaphone was developed. Building on designs from Thomas Edison, and Chichester Bell (Alexander's cousin), the French company Pathe-Freres released the common gramophone. This design buried both Edison's and Bell's, and continued to flourish into basic record players. After his dead, the gramophone was buried in the attic, but it found its way downstairs when Rose decided she wanted to throw a dance party and rip open Mary's wounds. Eventually it became a welcome musical piece in the house but always a faint reminder of the love that was.

Before his untimely departure, Matthew partook in the growing interest of motor vehicles. As the family transitioned from horses and carriages to motor cars, no one could have been forewarned of the grief these steel

 creatures would bring to the abbey in the few short years to come. The 1800s were spent largely in trial and error expeditions with combustion, steam and even electric cars. Sadly the batteries for electric cars were not sustainable and didn't go very fast (enter Prius joke here). Steam-powered cars ruled the markets for the first few decades of the 1900s, and Matthew was at higher risk of being blown up by a boiler and living his life beneath bandages like Patrick...or Peter...but thankfully he was blessed with the automotive skills of a California driver and got squished instead, preserving his boyish good looks, but not his critical organs. In the 1920s, the combustive engine took over and made Henry Talbot a very happy boy.

One always adverse to technology was Mrs. Patmore. With the changing times came the fear of being left in the dust and she stood against the winds every chance she got, So when the abbey made the transition from ice boxes to refrigerators, it was no surprise that she dug her heels into the ground. Ice boxes were typically insulated chambers that were kept cool with large blocks of ice that were delivered daily. So yeah...they were ice boxes. Following a few warm winters in the late 1800s, there was an ice shortage. So General Electric set to work on developing a solution. Many of the early refrigerators were build in Indiana, and bore names like the Guardian, the Kelvinator (Ice-ta la vista, baby...ha okay sorry that was bad), the Servel, and the famous Frigidaire. In short, Christof from Frozen had to go on welfare thanks to GE.

The next invention first caught the eye of Rose as her love for modern music was insatiable, but LG was not as keen on the wireless as she was. Guglielmo Marconi was one of the fathers of radio communication and gradually developed more advanced communications systems. Building and utilizing transmitter stations, he was able to bring commercials, music, and even speeches from King George VI to the ears of the family and servants of Downton. Marconi's developments with radio waves were also responsible for the rescue of the 700 survivors of the Titanic...but most of the Crawley family's friends and relatives perished.

The final invention was again an attack on poor Mrs. Patmore, and this time, it was personal.The electric mixer, sensing the adversity it faced living on the kitchen counter, finally had it out with Patmore when she attempted to learn how to use it. The electric mixer was developed in 1908 by Herbet Johnson, an inventor for the Hobart Manufacturing Company. In 1915, the mixer was implemented in most bakeries as industrial equipment, and by 1919, the home versions were developed under the popular KitchenAid Brand. Unfortunately, Johnson didn't plan for Mrs. Patmore's technological ineptitude and poor Mrs. Hughes was stuck cleaning into the wee hours when Mrs. Patmore's test drive went awry.

So there's a very vague and brief history of technology and inventions as the house of Downton Abbey has transpired through the sands of time. If you want more information, look it up yourself, I'm not a historian, physicist, scientist, or inventor. This was all I could comprehend.

Delusions and Resurrections (S6 E4)

After a brief absence from the abbey, Sergeant Willis has returned to stir up more drama for the downstairs dwellers at Downton, but for once it's not about the Bateses. The bright-eyed and at times dim-witted law officer has come for Baxter this time around, and as Downton has shown us time and time again, the ghosts of the past are easily and often resurrected. Peter Coyle (quite possibly a distant relation of Brendan), the man who originally ensnared Baxter in his despicable plans to steal jewelry from her employer, has gotten tripped up in his antics and was arrested for a similar situation with another helpless patsy he manipulated. Willis has come pleading for Baxter's testimony against Coyle to put him away once and for all, but Baxter, for reasons that remain unclear is reluctant to assist. Molesley, on the other hand is determined that she serve up a plate of tough justice (tee-hee) and refuses to let this lie. Being unsuccessful in persuading her, he sneaks behind her back and enlists the help of Cora to sway Baxter, which only pisses Baxter off more and consequently ruins any future chances of doing the happy sexy dance with her. However, once she learns of the unfortunates that Peter has left in his wake, she finally agrees to take the stand if need be, leaving Molesley tickled, though perhaps not the way he has dreamed about just yet.

While most of us are tired of seeing Sergeant Willis (but yay him for scoring a recurring role), no one was more miffed about his visit than Thomas. His head has tripled in size after becoming the steward of Downton's staff while Carson and Mrs, Hugh--Car---that chick are off on their honeymoon not worrying about their birthday suits. Not once hesitating to remind anyone willing to listen that he is the current butler, Thomas, in his usual fashion has taken to being more of a despot than a gracious ruler. This has only alienated the remaining few who were still on his side...which of course includes only a few insects in the darker corners of the servants' hall who have little to no awareness of the world around them. And yet, in the midst of acting like a grade A ass, he still manages to somehow whimper and whine about not having friends. This, my dear readers, is the essence of what we call Persecutory Delusions. Unfortunately for Thomas, sympathy is non-existent, except just a few drops from the ever faithful Baxter, and shortly after his sob session, we find him fulfilling the role he was born to play when another shadow from the past emerged through the front doors of Downton.

Alas she lives! Flanking her trustee husband who was invited by Rosamund, Gwen returns to the halls of the abbey, alive and kicking. You may recall the harrowing incident at Castle Black where she was shot through the heart with an arrow ("'tis but a scratch!"). But little did we know Gwen was treated at a hospital run by the Yorkshire County Hospital and made a speedy recovery from her minor flesh wound thanks to the technology and medical advancements such a collaboration allowed. We'd better not tell Violet, she's losing enough ground as it is. Struggling to find the appropriate moment to share her history with the family, Thomas was seething with jealousy and outed Gwen to the lunch table. After the initial moment of awkwardness, a warm revival of Sybil followed, and I admittedly teared up as they recounted fond memories of the youngest Crawley sister. Thomas was later slammed into his place when old LG chided him for his loathsome behaviors, which escaped everyone else's observance but his own (now announcing Lord Grantham, formerly known as Robert, Donk, and Prince will be called LG for the remainder of this blog...it's gangster...but not as gangster as granny).

The return of Gwen only stoked the fires that had been burning under Daisy since she first took up her schooling with Ms. Cu- I mean Bunting. As she worked to develop her own brain and better herself, Daisy became a passionate but naive fledgling who took the wrong idea regarding the farm and and ran with it during the last episode. Mayhaps she has spent too much time around Thomas, developing what we call a Shared Delusional Disorder (yes folks, it is possible to become crazy just by being around crazy too damn much). Learning that the farm might not go to Mr. Mason after all and believing she had be wronged in the process, Daisy throws a fit and storms upstairs to confront Cora, ignoring pleas from the other staff to leave it alone. Luckily, in what could only be a serendipitous moment, Daisy was rescued by fate and the final decision to allow Mr. Mason to take the farm was passed down to her before her bitchfest. Thus, she remains employed, but still somewhat deluded. In spite of her ignorance, I commend the child on being passionate, though misguided, for I too was a Daisy once. Heavily involved and absorbed in various social issues, I was young, more emotional than rational, and easily given to outbursts. But through time and an insanely expensive college experience, I developed the critical thinking skills I needed to make calm rational arguments and in turn avoid looking like a wild, tantrumming, hormonal bitch. One thing I've learned as I've watched other youngsters take that path is that you can always teach a person critical thinking skills, but you can't teach them to give a shit. You will never pick up passion in a textbook and the fiery passion you have should never be extinguished; maybe just contained a tad. Then again, slapping a passionate, wild, tantrumming hormonal bitch once in awhile doesn't appear to cause long term damage to tomorrow's leaders, and that's exactly what my mom and I wanted to do to Daisy. More than once. Maybe a knockout punch. She's still a bit crazy.

In Downton Tidbits, Anna nearly experienced yet another miscarriage after exerting herself a bit too much, and rushed off to London with Mary to save the baby. They make it just in time, and the minor operation was performed to ensure the baby won't be popping out until its scheduled arrival. In the circus of it all, Bates puts two and two together and the secret is out. Hopefully we'll meet the little chap before the season closes. Just our luck, Bates will go the way of Matthew with a horrible accident: just moments after the baby is born, Mary will ask Bates to carry another heavy suitcase down the stairs in spite of his infirmity, he'll undoubtedly slip and crack his head open, leaving Anna to mourn and Mary to bitch about the blood he got on her designer bags. Mary is revisited by her car connoisseur when he joins Lady Shackleton at the abbey, and this leads up to a cozy flirtatious little dinner in London with Mr. Henry Talbot. I wonder how long it will take her to sleep with this one. Though Lady Shackleton arrives for a dinner as reinforcements for Violet, the argument goes astray and Shackleton backs down at the last second, wavering in the face of LG, which only sets Violet off more as she realizes the victory from this battlefield has already been taken. Always the picture of grace and decorum, even Violet throws her own hormonal tantrum and brutally assaults the greens on her dinner plate. As Mary said, their "higher education" was limited in those days, and perhaps the Dowager skipped Critical Thinking 101 for poise and etiquette classes. LG continues to wince in pain throughout the episode, most likely his ulcer misbehaving, but after the hell his children put him through and now having to parent his mother through her behavioral issues, it's no wonder. If Violet doesn't chill, she's going to be heading to Shady Pines sooner than she thinks.

Until next time, adieu dear fans...

Abbey Road

Instagram Jams

Just a collection of sweet, hilarious, and confusing moments from Downton's cast and crew Instagrams...

Photos from MVPC71
L: Farm life Downton Style
R: The Walking Dead Downton Style

L: (From KDoyle999) True Romance
R: (From MCPV71) The name's Swift. Jeremy Swift

L: (From j_mo_7) So pleased this little monkey is back on our screens. Here she is being my hairdresser for the day.
R: (From MVPC71) It's all about the glamour

From LarryCarmichael: The shoe exchange...

From ChrisCreatureFeature: This was the bull that did its best to break free in the name of love...#hornybull

Golden Gloves and Balls of Steel (S6 E3)

The big day is on the horizon for Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes as we greet the bustling household of Downton for episode three. The flowers and food are cut and prepared, the location of the reception is settled as far as Mr. Carson knows, and Mrs. Hughes' wedding dress looks like a mumu my colorblind grandmother may have picked out to scrub toilets. The dress is an issue which triggers a domino effect of issues for the servants, Mary, and Cora. After Mrs. Patmore makes a friendly attempt to save the day in ordering a beautiful frock from a catalog, the dress finally arrives and we find that eye surgery she had years ago may not have worked as well as we thought. While the color was prettier, it only managed to upgrade the dress from toilet scrubbing to perhaps window washing attire. Luckily Lady Mary swooped in to save the day in offering her mother's clothing for Mrs.Hughes to gussy up the desolate garment. However, after a trying day refereeing the ongoing battle between cousins Violet and Isobel (more on that boxing match later), Cora stomped into her room to find the plucky trio of servants rifling through her closet in search of an appropriate accessory, and had a full on bitch fit. Spewing fire with a head full of snakes, Lady Medusa ripped each of them a new one and sent them scuttling back to the depths of the servants' hall, petrified and mortified. Of course, once Mary had an opportunity to tame the beast, Cora ate some serious crow and gave Mrs. Hughes the coat she had been eyeing for her big day. Now she will look like a very fancy window washer.

But prior to the showdown with Cora and the alliance with Mary, the two aristocrats were on different teams when it came to Mrs. Hughes and the location of the wedding reception. Mrs. Patmore finally managed the nerve to disclose Mrs. Hughes' disappointment with the decision to have their after party in the Downton Hall. Seizing the opportunity to teach Mary a lesson once and for all, Cora summoned Mrs. Hughes and set the stage for an eloquent speech politely shunning the ostentatious lifestyle the Crawleys have come to depend on. Once they decided on the school house, Mrs. Hughes departed and Mary threw a tantrum which was immediately extinguished when Carson re-entered and everyone chugged their tea. I'm beginning to think many a drinking game could be had living in a house with servants. I'd be completely wasted all day every day if I had to drink an awkward moment away every time an employee entered the room. But then I suppose at that point I'd be too drunk to care.

In the midst of yelling, apologizing, and schooling Mary, Cora was indeed donning the striped shirt in the fight of the century (well, really the fight of the week when it comes to Violet and Isobel), and she found herself blowing the whistle more than once as the gloves came off. Cora had gone to York to get a peek at the hospital run by the big wigs who want to take over Downton's own medical practice, and in turn she stoked the fire burning between the two old biddies. As they sparred and danced in the ring, I half expected Isobel to bust a Tyson and rip off the Old Dowager's ear. Fed up and more than over it, she instead turned and spat venom at Clarkson, taking aim at his ego and in turn neutered him long before the faceless medical board had the chance. She accused him of what we expected all along, that he couldn't manage the inevitable demotion this buy-out would bring, and later he would only confirm her suspicions, hinting that Violet is on the verge of being KO'ed after all is said and done. Time will tell, however much is left on this round.

If you're wondering where Clarkson's cajones went after the confrontation with Isobel, never fear, I think I can make a fair guess: they conveniently relocated into Edith's pocket. Sailing up to London for yet another meeting with her insubordinate editor (and running into Bertie Pelham, the agent she met on holiday at the Northumberland castle on the way), Edith finds herself in the magazine office boxing it out with the misogynistic employee once more. With the pair of steel balls she recently acquired, she mustered the guts to sack the beet-faced baboon, and set herself to the task of finishing the mock-up for press time, which was just hours away. But luckily she is not alone; after cancelling drinks with Bertie, he invited himself over to be the errand boy and cheerleading squad for Edith as she single-handedly laid the blueprints for the publication. Celebrating in the wee morning hours, one can see the seed has been planted for potential love to blossom between the two. We can only hope this one's not married. Or crippled. Or boarding any ill-fated ships anytime soon.

In Downton Tidbits, Thomas is still complaining that Andy doesn't like him, and is still in search for a job. He is once again greeted by disappointment when traveling to the ghost of Dryden Park, where he uncovers the ruins of what was once a grand estate. The shadows of the past still haunt the dilapidated building, and Sir Michael Reresby is slowly collecting dust and disintegrating with the walls of his home. Not a suitable fit, Thomas must return to the wanted ads with his future still hanging in the balance. Daisy, ever obnoxiously hopeful and eternally naive, has jumped the gun on a misunderstanding about the Drewes farm. In the process, she let a small assumption snowball into what may become a massive disappointment as she led Mr. Mason to believe his chances at taking over the farm were all but guaranteed. In other news, Spratt's nephew took a cue from Mr. Dumas and AWOLed from the local prison establishment, seeking refuge at the Dowager house. Of course nothing can be slipped past Denker's nose and after quickly surmising who the guest is looming around the grounds, she feigns idiocy to protect Spratt...or to entrap him...who knows? No, you're right, we know. She's such a bitch. Lastly, Anna is pregnant once more, and Mary shat more bricks than when she found out she was pregnant herself. The plan is on for the minor procedure and hopefully Anna will be popping out a little Bates sooner than we think.

The episode ended with two heart-warming, tear-jerking, blubbering like a hot hormonal mess moments, one of course being the wedding we've really been waiting for all series long. After the vows were uttered, followed by the presentation of the happy couple and a noticeably absent wedding kiss (they didn't even hold hands walking down the aisle!), they rushed over to the school house for the reception. While Carson was giving a toast to his beautiful new wife, a familiar face crept in through the entrance, and standing there before us was Tom and little Sybbie, stealing the thunder and the scene from those people...whoever they were who got married. He announces that following a bout of severe home-sickness, he has decided to return to Downton for good. I guess no one told him he's only got about 6 more hours of this show left.

See ya next week!

Are You Ready?

It's Downton Day!

I love rockin' my DA shirt...

Maggie Smith Don't Care

Maggie Smith is a timeless talent who has donned the faces of many characters, but through many personalities, periods, and places, Dame Smith has not cared for much...