Marching Through the Sands of Time

The evolution of time at Downton has been, at times, hard for me to remain cognizant of. Still caught in the days of horses and carriages where we first met the Crawley family, I find myself in awe as we're suddenly transported into the midst of the roaring 20s, where they have fashion shows and car races. Throughout the show we have watched as the family was introduced to many developments of technology, some not so warmly welcomed in the home, and I thought it would be fun to review. So, as Daisy buries her head in her textbooks and expands her mental horizons, here's your little history lesson for the week as well.

The first invention we come across was in the first season of Downton, as a skittish housemaid/kitchen assistant Daisy is petrified of electricity in the home even as Gwen chides her, "it's electricity, not the devil's handiwork!" While the Crawley family was just getting electricity in 1912, incandescent light bulbs had become commercially available in the 1870s after being patented and developed by British physicist Joseph Wilson Swan. The invention was improved upon by Thomas Edison and patented in the US. The Dowager wasn't too keen on it either, but gradually the carbon fixtures flared and spread through the many rooms of the abbey and its houses.

Shortly following the infiltration of electricity into the house came the torturous instrument of communication, the telephone. Again, a myriad of inventors contributed to the development of the phone as it when through its many transformations, but Alexander Graham Bell was credited with the patent in 1876. Again the Crawley house took its time acquiring the new toy, but soon adopted a Candlestick phone, which was developed in the 1890s and remained popular until the 1930s. Too bad Downton's finished, I'd like to see Carson try to work a rotary.

Perhaps the most jubilant and heartbreaking piece of technology was Matthew's gramophone. Originally intended to fill the rooms of the abbey with arias and honey-voiced crooners, the gramophone was there for the pivotal

 moment in Matthew and Mary's life: the moment Matthew professed his love for Mary as Lavinia watched from the staircase. In 1906, after a series of changes and yes, improvements over the graphaphone and phonograph, the gramophone we are most familiar with, the Tournaphone was developed. Building on designs from Thomas Edison, and Chichester Bell (Alexander's cousin), the French company Pathe-Freres released the common gramophone. This design buried both Edison's and Bell's, and continued to flourish into basic record players. After his dead, the gramophone was buried in the attic, but it found its way downstairs when Rose decided she wanted to throw a dance party and rip open Mary's wounds. Eventually it became a welcome musical piece in the house but always a faint reminder of the love that was.

Before his untimely departure, Matthew partook in the growing interest of motor vehicles. As the family transitioned from horses and carriages to motor cars, no one could have been forewarned of the grief these steel

 creatures would bring to the abbey in the few short years to come. The 1800s were spent largely in trial and error expeditions with combustion, steam and even electric cars. Sadly the batteries for electric cars were not sustainable and didn't go very fast (enter Prius joke here). Steam-powered cars ruled the markets for the first few decades of the 1900s, and Matthew was at higher risk of being blown up by a boiler and living his life beneath bandages like Patrick...or Peter...but thankfully he was blessed with the automotive skills of a California driver and got squished instead, preserving his boyish good looks, but not his critical organs. In the 1920s, the combustive engine took over and made Henry Talbot a very happy boy.

One always adverse to technology was Mrs. Patmore. With the changing times came the fear of being left in the dust and she stood against the winds every chance she got, So when the abbey made the transition from ice boxes to refrigerators, it was no surprise that she dug her heels into the ground. Ice boxes were typically insulated chambers that were kept cool with large blocks of ice that were delivered daily. So yeah...they were ice boxes. Following a few warm winters in the late 1800s, there was an ice shortage. So General Electric set to work on developing a solution. Many of the early refrigerators were build in Indiana, and bore names like the Guardian, the Kelvinator (Ice-ta la vista, baby...ha okay sorry that was bad), the Servel, and the famous Frigidaire. In short, Christof from Frozen had to go on welfare thanks to GE.

The next invention first caught the eye of Rose as her love for modern music was insatiable, but LG was not as keen on the wireless as she was. Guglielmo Marconi was one of the fathers of radio communication and gradually developed more advanced communications systems. Building and utilizing transmitter stations, he was able to bring commercials, music, and even speeches from King George VI to the ears of the family and servants of Downton. Marconi's developments with radio waves were also responsible for the rescue of the 700 survivors of the Titanic...but most of the Crawley family's friends and relatives perished.

The final invention was again an attack on poor Mrs. Patmore, and this time, it was personal.The electric mixer, sensing the adversity it faced living on the kitchen counter, finally had it out with Patmore when she attempted to learn how to use it. The electric mixer was developed in 1908 by Herbet Johnson, an inventor for the Hobart Manufacturing Company. In 1915, the mixer was implemented in most bakeries as industrial equipment, and by 1919, the home versions were developed under the popular KitchenAid Brand. Unfortunately, Johnson didn't plan for Mrs. Patmore's technological ineptitude and poor Mrs. Hughes was stuck cleaning into the wee hours when Mrs. Patmore's test drive went awry.

So there's a very vague and brief history of technology and inventions as the house of Downton Abbey has transpired through the sands of time. If you want more information, look it up yourself, I'm not a historian, physicist, scientist, or inventor. This was all I could comprehend.

Delusions and Resurrections (S6 E4)

After a brief absence from the abbey, Sergeant Willis has returned to stir up more drama for the downstairs dwellers at Downton, but for once it's not about the Bateses. The bright-eyed and at times dim-witted law officer has come for Baxter this time around, and as Downton has shown us time and time again, the ghosts of the past are easily and often resurrected. Peter Coyle (quite possibly a distant relation of Brendan), the man who originally ensnared Baxter in his despicable plans to steal jewelry from her employer, has gotten tripped up in his antics and was arrested for a similar situation with another helpless patsy he manipulated. Willis has come pleading for Baxter's testimony against Coyle to put him away once and for all, but Baxter, for reasons that remain unclear is reluctant to assist. Molesley, on the other hand is determined that she serve up a plate of tough justice (tee-hee) and refuses to let this lie. Being unsuccessful in persuading her, he sneaks behind her back and enlists the help of Cora to sway Baxter, which only pisses Baxter off more and consequently ruins any future chances of doing the happy sexy dance with her. However, once she learns of the unfortunates that Peter has left in his wake, she finally agrees to take the stand if need be, leaving Molesley tickled, though perhaps not the way he has dreamed about just yet.

While most of us are tired of seeing Sergeant Willis (but yay him for scoring a recurring role), no one was more miffed about his visit than Thomas. His head has tripled in size after becoming the steward of Downton's staff while Carson and Mrs, Hugh--Car---that chick are off on their honeymoon not worrying about their birthday suits. Not once hesitating to remind anyone willing to listen that he is the current butler, Thomas, in his usual fashion has taken to being more of a despot than a gracious ruler. This has only alienated the remaining few who were still on his side...which of course includes only a few insects in the darker corners of the servants' hall who have little to no awareness of the world around them. And yet, in the midst of acting like a grade A ass, he still manages to somehow whimper and whine about not having friends. This, my dear readers, is the essence of what we call Persecutory Delusions. Unfortunately for Thomas, sympathy is non-existent, except just a few drops from the ever faithful Baxter, and shortly after his sob session, we find him fulfilling the role he was born to play when another shadow from the past emerged through the front doors of Downton.

Alas she lives! Flanking her trustee husband who was invited by Rosamund, Gwen returns to the halls of the abbey, alive and kicking. You may recall the harrowing incident at Castle Black where she was shot through the heart with an arrow ("'tis but a scratch!"). But little did we know Gwen was treated at a hospital run by the Yorkshire County Hospital and made a speedy recovery from her minor flesh wound thanks to the technology and medical advancements such a collaboration allowed. We'd better not tell Violet, she's losing enough ground as it is. Struggling to find the appropriate moment to share her history with the family, Thomas was seething with jealousy and outed Gwen to the lunch table. After the initial moment of awkwardness, a warm revival of Sybil followed, and I admittedly teared up as they recounted fond memories of the youngest Crawley sister. Thomas was later slammed into his place when old LG chided him for his loathsome behaviors, which escaped everyone else's observance but his own (now announcing Lord Grantham, formerly known as Robert, Donk, and Prince will be called LG for the remainder of this blog...it's gangster...but not as gangster as granny).

The return of Gwen only stoked the fires that had been burning under Daisy since she first took up her schooling with Ms. Cu- I mean Bunting. As she worked to develop her own brain and better herself, Daisy became a passionate but naive fledgling who took the wrong idea regarding the farm and and ran with it during the last episode. Mayhaps she has spent too much time around Thomas, developing what we call a Shared Delusional Disorder (yes folks, it is possible to become crazy just by being around crazy too damn much). Learning that the farm might not go to Mr. Mason after all and believing she had be wronged in the process, Daisy throws a fit and storms upstairs to confront Cora, ignoring pleas from the other staff to leave it alone. Luckily, in what could only be a serendipitous moment, Daisy was rescued by fate and the final decision to allow Mr. Mason to take the farm was passed down to her before her bitchfest. Thus, she remains employed, but still somewhat deluded. In spite of her ignorance, I commend the child on being passionate, though misguided, for I too was a Daisy once. Heavily involved and absorbed in various social issues, I was young, more emotional than rational, and easily given to outbursts. But through time and an insanely expensive college experience, I developed the critical thinking skills I needed to make calm rational arguments and in turn avoid looking like a wild, tantrumming, hormonal bitch. One thing I've learned as I've watched other youngsters take that path is that you can always teach a person critical thinking skills, but you can't teach them to give a shit. You will never pick up passion in a textbook and the fiery passion you have should never be extinguished; maybe just contained a tad. Then again, slapping a passionate, wild, tantrumming hormonal bitch once in awhile doesn't appear to cause long term damage to tomorrow's leaders, and that's exactly what my mom and I wanted to do to Daisy. More than once. Maybe a knockout punch. She's still a bit crazy.

In Downton Tidbits, Anna nearly experienced yet another miscarriage after exerting herself a bit too much, and rushed off to London with Mary to save the baby. They make it just in time, and the minor operation was performed to ensure the baby won't be popping out until its scheduled arrival. In the circus of it all, Bates puts two and two together and the secret is out. Hopefully we'll meet the little chap before the season closes. Just our luck, Bates will go the way of Matthew with a horrible accident: just moments after the baby is born, Mary will ask Bates to carry another heavy suitcase down the stairs in spite of his infirmity, he'll undoubtedly slip and crack his head open, leaving Anna to mourn and Mary to bitch about the blood he got on her designer bags. Mary is revisited by her car connoisseur when he joins Lady Shackleton at the abbey, and this leads up to a cozy flirtatious little dinner in London with Mr. Henry Talbot. I wonder how long it will take her to sleep with this one. Though Lady Shackleton arrives for a dinner as reinforcements for Violet, the argument goes astray and Shackleton backs down at the last second, wavering in the face of LG, which only sets Violet off more as she realizes the victory from this battlefield has already been taken. Always the picture of grace and decorum, even Violet throws her own hormonal tantrum and brutally assaults the greens on her dinner plate. As Mary said, their "higher education" was limited in those days, and perhaps the Dowager skipped Critical Thinking 101 for poise and etiquette classes. LG continues to wince in pain throughout the episode, most likely his ulcer misbehaving, but after the hell his children put him through and now having to parent his mother through her behavioral issues, it's no wonder. If Violet doesn't chill, she's going to be heading to Shady Pines sooner than she thinks.

Until next time, adieu dear fans...

Abbey Road

Instagram Jams

Just a collection of sweet, hilarious, and confusing moments from Downton's cast and crew Instagrams...

Photos from MVPC71
L: Farm life Downton Style
R: The Walking Dead Downton Style

L: (From KDoyle999) True Romance
R: (From MCPV71) The name's Swift. Jeremy Swift

L: (From j_mo_7) So pleased this little monkey is back on our screens. Here she is being my hairdresser for the day.
R: (From MVPC71) It's all about the glamour

From LarryCarmichael: The shoe exchange...

From ChrisCreatureFeature: This was the bull that did its best to break free in the name of love...#hornybull

Golden Gloves and Balls of Steel (S6 E3)

The big day is on the horizon for Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes as we greet the bustling household of Downton for episode three. The flowers and food are cut and prepared, the location of the reception is settled as far as Mr. Carson knows, and Mrs. Hughes' wedding dress looks like a mumu my colorblind grandmother may have picked out to scrub toilets. The dress is an issue which triggers a domino effect of issues for the servants, Mary, and Cora. After Mrs. Patmore makes a friendly attempt to save the day in ordering a beautiful frock from a catalog, the dress finally arrives and we find that eye surgery she had years ago may not have worked as well as we thought. While the color was prettier, it only managed to upgrade the dress from toilet scrubbing to perhaps window washing attire. Luckily Lady Mary swooped in to save the day in offering her mother's clothing for Mrs.Hughes to gussy up the desolate garment. However, after a trying day refereeing the ongoing battle between cousins Violet and Isobel (more on that boxing match later), Cora stomped into her room to find the plucky trio of servants rifling through her closet in search of an appropriate accessory, and had a full on bitch fit. Spewing fire with a head full of snakes, Lady Medusa ripped each of them a new one and sent them scuttling back to the depths of the servants' hall, petrified and mortified. Of course, once Mary had an opportunity to tame the beast, Cora ate some serious crow and gave Mrs. Hughes the coat she had been eyeing for her big day. Now she will look like a very fancy window washer.

But prior to the showdown with Cora and the alliance with Mary, the two aristocrats were on different teams when it came to Mrs. Hughes and the location of the wedding reception. Mrs. Patmore finally managed the nerve to disclose Mrs. Hughes' disappointment with the decision to have their after party in the Downton Hall. Seizing the opportunity to teach Mary a lesson once and for all, Cora summoned Mrs. Hughes and set the stage for an eloquent speech politely shunning the ostentatious lifestyle the Crawleys have come to depend on. Once they decided on the school house, Mrs. Hughes departed and Mary threw a tantrum which was immediately extinguished when Carson re-entered and everyone chugged their tea. I'm beginning to think many a drinking game could be had living in a house with servants. I'd be completely wasted all day every day if I had to drink an awkward moment away every time an employee entered the room. But then I suppose at that point I'd be too drunk to care.

In the midst of yelling, apologizing, and schooling Mary, Cora was indeed donning the striped shirt in the fight of the century (well, really the fight of the week when it comes to Violet and Isobel), and she found herself blowing the whistle more than once as the gloves came off. Cora had gone to York to get a peek at the hospital run by the big wigs who want to take over Downton's own medical practice, and in turn she stoked the fire burning between the two old biddies. As they sparred and danced in the ring, I half expected Isobel to bust a Tyson and rip off the Old Dowager's ear. Fed up and more than over it, she instead turned and spat venom at Clarkson, taking aim at his ego and in turn neutered him long before the faceless medical board had the chance. She accused him of what we expected all along, that he couldn't manage the inevitable demotion this buy-out would bring, and later he would only confirm her suspicions, hinting that Violet is on the verge of being KO'ed after all is said and done. Time will tell, however much is left on this round.

If you're wondering where Clarkson's cajones went after the confrontation with Isobel, never fear, I think I can make a fair guess: they conveniently relocated into Edith's pocket. Sailing up to London for yet another meeting with her insubordinate editor (and running into Bertie Pelham, the agent she met on holiday at the Northumberland castle on the way), Edith finds herself in the magazine office boxing it out with the misogynistic employee once more. With the pair of steel balls she recently acquired, she mustered the guts to sack the beet-faced baboon, and set herself to the task of finishing the mock-up for press time, which was just hours away. But luckily she is not alone; after cancelling drinks with Bertie, he invited himself over to be the errand boy and cheerleading squad for Edith as she single-handedly laid the blueprints for the publication. Celebrating in the wee morning hours, one can see the seed has been planted for potential love to blossom between the two. We can only hope this one's not married. Or crippled. Or boarding any ill-fated ships anytime soon.

In Downton Tidbits, Thomas is still complaining that Andy doesn't like him, and is still in search for a job. He is once again greeted by disappointment when traveling to the ghost of Dryden Park, where he uncovers the ruins of what was once a grand estate. The shadows of the past still haunt the dilapidated building, and Sir Michael Reresby is slowly collecting dust and disintegrating with the walls of his home. Not a suitable fit, Thomas must return to the wanted ads with his future still hanging in the balance. Daisy, ever obnoxiously hopeful and eternally naive, has jumped the gun on a misunderstanding about the Drewes farm. In the process, she let a small assumption snowball into what may become a massive disappointment as she led Mr. Mason to believe his chances at taking over the farm were all but guaranteed. In other news, Spratt's nephew took a cue from Mr. Dumas and AWOLed from the local prison establishment, seeking refuge at the Dowager house. Of course nothing can be slipped past Denker's nose and after quickly surmising who the guest is looming around the grounds, she feigns idiocy to protect Spratt...or to entrap him...who knows? No, you're right, we know. She's such a bitch. Lastly, Anna is pregnant once more, and Mary shat more bricks than when she found out she was pregnant herself. The plan is on for the minor procedure and hopefully Anna will be popping out a little Bates sooner than we think.

The episode ended with two heart-warming, tear-jerking, blubbering like a hot hormonal mess moments, one of course being the wedding we've really been waiting for all series long. After the vows were uttered, followed by the presentation of the happy couple and a noticeably absent wedding kiss (they didn't even hold hands walking down the aisle!), they rushed over to the school house for the reception. While Carson was giving a toast to his beautiful new wife, a familiar face crept in through the entrance, and standing there before us was Tom and little Sybbie, stealing the thunder and the scene from those people...whoever they were who got married. He announces that following a bout of severe home-sickness, he has decided to return to Downton for good. I guess no one told him he's only got about 6 more hours of this show left.

See ya next week!

Are You Ready?

It's Downton Day!

I love rockin' my DA shirt...

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